Thursday, July 26, 2012

The grand confession!


As a small child I had this (bad?!!) habit of thumb sucking.
My parents, especially my mom had tried many things to stop this habit but nothing could prevent me from doing so. Whenever I found myself in deep sorrow, this habit was my last resort providing me with the much required relief. The relaxing effect it had on me was so intense that during night, I always went to sleep with my right thumb inside my mouth. And it was my mom’s duty to take it out once I have slept and to remove the silky smooth blanket which I used to rub with my other hand. Thus, this habit was like a constant companion to me, helping me, consoling me in my very difficult times.

I am not sure when I had really started this habit or when I had really put an end to this, but I remember that I continued this even in my 1st standard. Let me proudly announce this to you now that I did it even in my class room! No! Not in public in front of  all those girls whom I silently admired and those who silently admired me – no kidding here ;-) -, but by hiding my face on the desk in a sleeping posture, making sure that they won't catch a glimpse of what I was doing.

Smart, aint I?? Yea, I know!

I remember my mother had applied “chenninayakam” on my thumb in an attempt to stop me from doing this.  Chenninayakam  is a bitter substance that even grown ups won't dare tasting it and applying it on the thumb was a common and highly effective tactic used by many moms against their thumb sucking child.

And I must admit that she almost succeeded in her mission. The bitter taste of chenninayakam kept me away from finding my relief for many days, until that day when I finally decided to put an end to my mom’s (bad!!!)habit of applying this damn thing on my thumb every 10 minutes.

That was my first under cover operation, at the age of 4!

My first task was to find out the secret place where she was hiding it.

The refrigerator! I found out.

The second task was to steal it from there and destroy it for ever.

And for that, I waited for the right opportunity. The opportunity  I know was that small time window of 30 minutes when my mom would be having her well earned after noon nap!!

I waited.

That day after giving me food, she applied chenninayakam on my thumb as usual. She smiled at me as I gritted my teeth.

Ok, this will be the last time. My eyes told her.

She then kept the chenninayakam inside the refrigerator, took me to bed and started the Himalayan task of putting me to sleep. And I slept very fast that time for her surprise and satisfaction. After all that means she would get some extra time for her own sleep.

Poor she!
She was totally unaware of my devilish plans and was in deep sleep within minutes.
I waited for some more time just to make sure that she will not be disturbed as I get up.

“Failures are unacceptable!”, I told myself.

I got up quietly without disturbing her and moved tip toeing to my enemy’s hiding place.

I opened the door slowly and searched in a frenzy to find it in a small plastic bag deep inside the refrigerator.

I took it with the bag, closed the door, went out of the house and threw it away as far as I can…

And as I saw it lying far away in a distance, I knew that the mission was accomplished.

No, not yet.

I went back to my mom, and started sleeping with utmost content.

And as I woke up, I could hear her complaint that the chenninayagam was found missing from the refrigerator. I was the last person in her suspect list!

Done!
Misson accomplished.



It took her almost 25 years to know the secret of the missing chenninayakam. I only told it to her as a grand confession during an afternoon tea time chat with family.

Hearing the story, she came round the dining table and caught my ear.

“So it was u?!! I was searching the entire house for weeks! Have u got any idea how difficult it was to get one????! At least u could have saved me from the trouble of searching the entire house….u could at least…..”

And I had to interrupt her…

“But mom, without chenninayakam itself I managed to stop this bad(?!!) habit, rite??”

“Yea yea, good that you stopped it by urself. Otherwise u would have been doing it even now and even in front of ur wife”, she told looking at my wife and then winked.

“So is there any other stories that I don’t know?”, she asked again.
“Let the right time come and I myself will let u know….”, I winked back….


Signed,
Sreeram R. Warrier ;-)

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Parents.....



“Who is looking after your child?”
“Parents”
“Oh, so finally they agreed to come, ha? That’s great news. So r u happy now? Everything is back to order??”
“What order?!! We both are struggling to look after our child. And now that he has started walking, it has become really difficult…”
“But you said parents are here to look after him?”
“Yes”
“Then what is the problem?!!”
“We both have to go to office, right??”
“Yes, so??”
“That’s the problem!”

Silence…………..

“Ok ok, tell me….How they are managing your kid? They must be having a great time with him, right? Btw, how long they will be here??”
“Who??”
“Your Parents in law…..”
“That I can answer only if they come here”
“Oh, so it is your parents who have come here!”
“No”
“Then who is taking care of your child??”
“Parents!”
“Whose parents?”
"His parents!"
"His parents???"
"My son's parents!"




Signed: 
Sreeram R Warrier.. :D

The perumjeerakam story, repeats!



“Ok, so you got all the items listed?”, looking at him who had just returned from the super market, she asked.

“Yes, everything was there!”, he replied and then went to the kitchen to have another cup of tea.

As he was sipping through the cold tea, his mother called him again.

“Oh mom! What now? Once again u forgot to add something in the list, rite? I just came from the shop and I am not going back there immediately. We will see in the evening. Why you always forget? U need jyothishbrahmi!”, the boy did not like the interruption in what he was doing.

“Ok, next time when u go to the shop, buy one for me. But before that u tell me what this is?”, holding a small plastic bag she asked him.

“Jeerakam! See, it’s written over here”, the confused boy snatched the bag from his mother and showed her the name tag.

“PerumJeerakam.”, corrected his mother.

“Yes, Perummm….Jeerakam. I didn’t see the other one. So?? It’s also jeerakam! And it’s big!!!”, he made his point.

She looked at him. Innocence was written all over his face. She could not control her laughter.

“Again he brought PerumJeerakam instead of Jeerakam??”, his sister too joined his mother.

“Yea, I did. From now on, u go to the super market to buy these stupid things. I quit!”

Ashamed of himself for repeating the same mistake again and again, he quipped at those laughing faces and darted out of the kitchen.

More laughs were heard from the kitchen.



Years passed away. The boy is now the father of a one year old.

“Ok, so you got all the items listed?”, looking at him who had just returned from Medical Store, she asked.
“Yes, everything was there!”, he replied and then went back to his laptop.

As he was busy browsing through the facebook pages, she called again.

“What is this?”
“Facebook, don’t you know??
“NOT FACEBOOK…., THIS!!”
The scream was so loud that he had no other way than to look up at her. She was carrying a packet of cerelac.

“Cerelac 4.., anything wrong with that?”, he was confused.

That’s it. She couldn’t bear more…. By magic, the packet suddenly grew wings and it flew out of the window.

As he was following the imaginary curve drawn by the packet finally ending at the window, he heard her voice again...


“Why u r like this Sreeram? I asked you to bring Nan 3 and u brought this??!! How many times u will repeat the same story??!!”, more screams and then silence…....

He returned his gaze to her angry face.


"U r more beautiful when u r angry", disaster management that was so premature as she started searching for more items to throw away.


"Ok,hold on, hold on... U really are!! But at least I did not bring PerumJeerakam this time, rite??”, he replied calmly to an angry wife and then walked back silently to the medical store.....


Signed : 
Sreeram R Warrier :-/