New year resolutions, 2009.

In 28 years, after celebrating that many new years and probably 4 or 5 new year resolutions I had arrived at this conclusion that this is not my stuff. Not that I do not feel the spirit of the new year or I do not anticipate a better future or I do not have the drive for betterment, but due to the simple complex reason that I never stick to them. I tell my friends that there is a limit to the personal betterment that can be achieved. I know if I am taking another NYR, then it will be like,
“dude, do not plan anything for this year or if planned, stick to them which u will never” and similes…..

But this time, I plan to stick to my plans for a change... (Note the point, I plan to...)

My new year resolutions, 2009.

1. Need a lifestye change. Stay happy, stay healthy is my moto for this year. How long it will take for breaking one big pack into six small packs? Lets see!
2. Some pple say that I am too much emotional. They say that I am emotional and that makes me weak leaving me behind the fast paced world.And in return, I tell them that this is one of my strengths and something which differentiates me from this emotionless world. But ofcourse I know that I must apply breaks on my impulsive nature that usually follows an emotional hype.I understand that these are good only for characters on screen and not for me. Look before you leap, think before acting etc etc are some of those old sayings to put my thoughts in short.
3. This is my father's wish. Higher studies. He surely is unaware of my B.Tech struggles, I know.
4.I know I am spending too much on buying books that interest me, but I am not reading them or atleast I am not finishing them. I know this is the procrastinate in me and he needs to be killed. I want to rediscover my reading speed.
5. Classical music..!!
6. Upgrade my home recording studio into a semi professional one.
7. I plan to reduce the time spend on monitor staring that is non productive from a wallet perspective. Come on buddy, at 28 it is difficult to find a GF through ymsgr.
8. I just roll my eyes when my father asks about the amount that I have in my wallet. I stopped guessing the amount after a number of failed attempts. So this is another of my NYRs...Maintain proper accounts on how i am spending each ruppee. Afterall, how many times will I hear the same stories again and again from the old person??
9. Till now I have been a falling leaf in wind, wandering aimlessly and carried by destiny. I need a sense of responsibility that can keep me on track. I have decided that I will act like a very responsible person hoping that one day it will become a part of my character.
10. And this is the most important one. I plan to (Note the point, I plan to...)stick to what I have planned so far.

Sreeram R. Warrier (Happy new year friends...)

Addendum to "The D-day-A story unveils-"

"OMG!!"

"He hasnt changed a bit, my boy!!"

"When will you learn to keep things neat???"

"All four are the same, sigh!!"

Signed: Sreeram R Warrier (they did it! ) ;)

The D-day-A story unveils-

Wednesday 12/11/2008. 8:30 pm, IST.
Two souls, somewhere in Kerala.

They are packing their luggage right now.
It seems like they are getting ready for a journey.

Yes, it is. They want to meet their son in Chennai and the journey is scheduled for tomorrow.
The train, Trivandrum Chennai Express reaches the nearby station at around 8 pm tomorrow and will reach Chennai by 10- 10.30 in the morning, next day. Their son had just phoned them to see how things are moving at their end and was happy that they are almost done with their packing and are anxiously waiting for the clock to hit 8pm tomorrow.

Excerpts from a telephone convo that happend.

“Don’t even think about cleaning ur house! I want to see it as it is now.”,a weak attempt to explain himself was mercilessly out shadowed by an old voice.

“But…..it is so….......”
"So...?"
“Dad, its ok. It is not that bad either..But”
“No!”
“Ah, Ok, let it be so then….!!”

Thursday 13/11/2008. 7:30 am, IST.

Four souls, some apartment in Chennai.

Three of them are frantically cleaning the dirty house as much as they can before the sun rises tomorrow. Their main targets are the orphan waste papers lying shamelessly on the floor, scattered clothes and of course, liquor bottles kept as souvenirs of some grand evenings.
Even their house servant is missing for the last couple of weeks and they know that the situation is worse.They have been cleaning the house since the phone call happend.
The other soul who just got up is searching for the newspaper. Brush in his hand. He is not at all interested in the frantic struggle going around him. While reading the newspaper, the fourth soul as usual moves into some dreamworld.....

A flashback.
Pointing to the scattered stuffs on the dining table, sofa, bed, floor……., the lady of the house is shouting at her son.
“Ur sister is not like this.”
"So..???"
"She keeps everything clean and tidy, not like u, littering around.."
“Mom, anymore coffee left??”
"No!"
"Tea??"
"I don't know; Go to the kitchen and see. And I am not going to wash your glass!!"

Later, sipping the cold cardamom tea which she had prepared in the morning and watching TV, her son tells her in a feable voice..., his eyes half closed.
“Mom, u know wat?! I am a firm believer of entropy and how that sustains life in the universe. An ordered pattern will never survive the test of time. I am here to unbalance the system equation or add entropy to it and she balances it. I unbalance it again, she balances it again. I trained her to what she is right now and....and....,
"Of whom are u blabbering abt??"
The response was quick and sharp.
"Who else! Ur daughter, My sis!!"

The Anticlimax.

My parents know my habits and it is my roomies who r in trouble.
“Come on guys, don’t let my parents think that U pple are also just like me .... Don't let yourself down!!!” ;)

It is D-day for u all!


Signed: Sreeram R Warrier :)

Recurring Dreams

My nights were silent and smooth with not even a single clock tick heard in between those vast hours.

But, not any more..!

I see these recurring dreams and my sleeps are broken. It is quite unbelievable that the same dream repeats in its entirety or a similar one unvails with the same outcome. I really do not know why I am seeing such dreams at this point in my life.

"I mean, I am not a student anymore to fail in an exam?!"

"That too, Biology??!!"

"Hello, I did engineering!!!!!"

Recurring Dreams.....

Plot #1

Back to my college days.

Final semester.

Study leave is almost over and the exams are about to start within one or two days. Ofcourse I have studied everything except this subject called Biology (What the...!!). Did I purposefully avoided that?? Yeah, I must have, because I remember it had one long chapter on "I dont remember what" and I did not want to go through it.

I am about to fail.

I realise that.

And I am tensed.

Plot #2

This was the recent one.

Subject is different, English I guess....., (Hello, I did Engineeeeringgggggggg!!!!).

Exam hall....,

My pass or fail depends on the person sitting next to me and I want some inspiration from whatever he had written.

But the examiner is too smart and she is about to move me to an isolated place!

I see trouble!

Almost the same plot, the same tensed situation, and the fear of failure...; both these dreams had plenty in common.

It kills.....

But I must say one thing.

The relief that we find once we wakeup...

The realisation that it was just a dream......

Oh, Blizz...... ;-)

Signed: Sreeram R Warrier ( phew! )

Btw, check this out

Underperformer

"I have always seen u as an underperformer", he told me this when v were chatting. His tone pretty serious.
I know y he was saying this and I could not really blame him also.He sincerely wants me to push forward in life,giving justice to my self, my karma and my karmic skills.
I never did.

"But who is performing here?! I am here to live and not to perform.....", I wanted to retaliate but Obviously I didnt.

Yes, He was right!

But sometimes it really hurts when pple give such tags ,watever be their intention, gud or bad.Ofcourse, I may not be aiming the stars Or I might be too lost in some fantacy world that I am not realising that the world has gone past me. Whatever it is, I believe that the word when used on humans is really a misnomer.

There is a saying in malayalam...., "onnu chathu matonninu valamakuka"-"one dies and becomes nutrition to another"- and the world has become too complex that the only rule that sells is this, be it among friends or relatives or in home or workplace.

If anyone had noticed me as an underperformer, then its just because that I dont want to thrive upon your flesh and that I am pretty content with myself as an underperformer...,for ever.

Well,those who want to perform, plz perform. And I will stay back happily watching their performance!

Signed: Sreeram R Warrier :)